Month: August 2009

The Darndest Things

This one is for Simon…

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Fifth Times a Charm


In a few hours I’m going to be a student again. Something I’ve always loved being but have only been so good at seeing through. Almost ten years after high school and I have behind me a trail of community colleges, A papers and dropped classes. All this self-sabotage, woe is me, Morrissey bullshit has been quite romantic and everything but its time to leave that shit in the marble notepads of yesterday. Today I’m embarking on a new adventure that will end with me on the peak of a mountain in all my glistening, rippled glory holding a pen up in one hand toward a celestial unknown and a little piece of paper in the other that triumphantly declares “Bachelor of Arts” bitches. You got that writing? I’m about to get Sun Devil all up on your ass…

Touch of a Button?

It was 7th grade science class with Mr. Hendricks, one teacher in particular I could write a good few blogs about (and have just decided I probably will). On this day he had us mesmerized as usual putting a story teller’s spin on science; and looking oh so crush worthy in his short sleeve button up and tie. There he stood in front of us with his hand stretched toward a techie future he was about to indulge our mid-pubescent minds in. He told us that one day we would have computers small enough to fit in the palm of our hands. And with these devices we would be able to play our favorite computer games(Oregon Trail anyone?), do our homework, and with the touch of a button be able to locate our friends clear across the world.

Well today is my boyfriend’s birthday and together we’ve both stepped into that future. That’s right, for his birthday I got us both iPhones. We may never have to speak to each other again…

It only took me 21 tries to take a photo I liked enough to post as proof of the new phonage.

Conversations with Dining Room Tables

You know as much as we’d all like to paint the opposition to health care reform as gun tot’n, cousin kiss’n, slack jawed yokels, I thought this might be a great opportunity to show that cute girls with grown out pixie cuts can be stupid too. Watch as Massachusetts congressman Barney Frank obliterates this woman after asking in all sincerity a question completely void of logic. I swear you can almost pinpoint the moment when the blood vessels in her face widen and allow the mortification to surface. Frank, if I ever see you in a Boston night club, I just may let you buy me a drink.

El Grito de Dugaldo

My boyfriend is one of the most peaceful guys I know. Straight up. This is good, because I am a fucking trouble maker. Just a little. I’m not looking to fight or anything, I just can’t help but call people out when they make asses out of themselves in front of me you know. And let me just say I by no means think that I am always right or that my opinions are even all that well informed. I know I have a hell of a lot of growing to do. But like my brother Eric, who was always an instigator growing up, I’d like to think that every now and then I’m really just sticking up for the underdog.

Like this time at Target I over heard these two chavos calling each other fag. I wasn’t exactly offended, but I told them not to be using that hateful language. And who am I to talk? At any given moment I can be overheard spewing quite a blush worthy lexicon. I’ll avoid getting into semiotics here and just say that I’ve felt for a long time that its never about the words but how they are meant and percieved. And those kids weren’t exactly referring to each other as the British slang for cigarette. When this fag actually said something to them, I could tell it was the first time anyone had. Do I think they’re going to stop? No. But hopefully I’ll be an annoying, recurring memory every time they use or hear the word.

This morning while gallivanting about the blogosphere link by link, I stumbled on to a blogger who’s words made my spinal column clench vertebra by vertebra. This is the kind of woman, the blogger that is, that if she were standing in front of me in line at the super market, I’m positive that something would come out of her mouth that would set me off like a chihuahua, only to embarrass my poor little boyfriend who only wanted to stop in for a six pack and a Totino’s pizza. Luckily, she lives in the great country of Texas, and no such confrontation should take place. But as soon as I was done reading a post I was only to happy to leave a snarky comment such as “I find you very entertaining” or “wow, spoken like a true white woman who’s never dealt with racism in her life” and my personal favorite “if you were a Hispanic woman I would be mortified.” Its all quite contextual and I invite you to check out her blog and let her know what a moron she is. The best part is the whole time this woman is trying to convince her um… public? and herself, that she is not as blatantly racist as she comes off, her google AdSense is inviting you to “Meet Black Singles.”

I have to admit the snark flew out of my finger tips with ease this morning, and the fodder this woman provided for it was abundant. And suddenly I realized (ala Sex and the City) this bull shit is smeared all over the internet and I’ve been trying to stick up for the little guy on metro platforms and checkout stands when I should be stamping my smart ass all over these haters’ blogs. This… is going to be so much fun.

I was once graced with the opportunity to hear Dolores Huerta speak at City College of San Francisco. Now you know this Latina woman said all kinds of inspirational shit that would make said blogger quiver in her boots, but she told one story in particular that I’ve always connected with. She said she once overheard someone talking shit on Jewish people and in her proud and strong Chicana accent simply told the guy “Ey you can’t say that, I’m Jewish!”

Me too Dolores. Me too.

Pop Culture Confusion

Ooh I’ve had it all wrong. You see I’ve been all up into Zooey Deschanel lately. Well it all started with an M. Ward CD. Hold Time. Bought it at Stinkweeds on the way to Prescott AZ and I’ve never gone back (to not listening to M. Ward that is). This guy’s voice is hauntingly beautiful. My boyfriend though, whose the one who turned me on to him, was addicted. After we saw him in April I swear I couldn’t turn on the iTunes, the car stereo, the iPod or even the antique home stereo system without hearing this guy. And I’m not complaining. I’m just saying.

Anyways I’ve been curious about this colab proj he did with this Zooey Deschanel character for a while, its called She & Him. But I was hesitant, because I thought she was the girl from Across the Universe. Not that I have anything against that girl or anything. But she’s not, that girls name is Evan Rachel Wood (as pictured to your left).

And I remember back then, when I saw that movie, I thought that Evan Rachel Wood, was the girl from Kids, you know the one who ends up with HIV at the end. But that girl is actually Chloë Sevigny (as pictured to the right). Get it Chloë, Zooey. But I mean if I had this wrong, something so easily googleable, what else could I be missing?

Well we finally went and bought She & Him and its really good. I mean you totally get in touch with your fem side when you listen to it, but I’m comfortable with that. Are you?

Anyway the other night over a six pack of Rolling Rock I finally saw Yes Man with Jim Carrey and you guessed it Zooey Deschanel, and contrary to what I thought when it first came out, its not a sequel to Liar Liar… it too is actually pretty good. Next on my list, Elf and 500 Days of Summer.

And to ease the pain of a painstakingly pointless blog, here’s an adorable Daschanel vid…